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Looking Up

Every day I look up to the skies. Sometimes I find the beauty in God’s art that I need to see. Other times, I do not see it. I’m still dwelling on the struggle of everyday life. Drama at work, bills piling up, and the anger that I have built up and can’t seem to let go of. These things are the devil trying to hold on to me. I do not want this anger anymore. I used to be happy and carefree. I look back at old pictures of myself with family and friends and I think about how much happier I was. I don’t even understand why I’m so angry and unhappy with life now. I do know that it’s related to situations that have occurred in the past few years. Things that are out of my control, but I still try to take control over. There have been many times that I have prayed for God to take control over the situation; that I can’t do it alone; that I need Him to help me through it. It gets better for a while as I try to let go and trust Him. But then I don’t follow through with letting go and start trying to take control again. I must make the commitment. I must find the joy in my heart I once had. What am I going to do about it? I will continue to listen to Spirit FM106.5 on the radio and I am choosing to join an online bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries.

I pass a church on the way to work and look forward to reading what they have posted on the sign outside. The messages have helped me get through some bad days more than once. The latest message read, “Be strong in the Lord, His love never fails.” I am trying too hard. I need to trust Him and remember He loves me no matter what. He is forgiving; He is my strength; He is my shelter; He is my Healer. God is good. Psalm 18:30, “As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” (NIV)

I try to be respectful and kind to anyone I meet. If they scowl, I remain silent and walk away. It’s very disappointing and heartbreaking that there isn’t mutual respect anymore. This world is growing colder and colder every day. I call it the Negativity Virus. There are many antidotes that will cure this disease. They include but are not limited to gratitude, forgiveness, kindness, positive thoughts. Faith Hope and Love, of course. And compassion, trust, faithfulness in everything you do. The strongest antidotes being prayer and love.

I used to feel blessed without hesitation. There was not a doubt in my mind how much God loved me, and I believed there were guardian angels around me every day. The devil is trying to break my family apart and tearing my friends lives apart as well. I pray to you God that you take control over all of this. I am nothing without you. I need your help and I trust that you are there. And to everyone that I encounter daily, I am a work in progress. Please forgive me if I fail you in anyway. I truly want kindness, GOOD communication, and respect for others in my life. Thank you in advance for everything.


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