I see your pain. I pray for you to let God into your heart and mind. God is mightier than anything. He loves you no matter what; He loved you first. When you were still growing within a protected womb, He was making plans for you. None of this material stuff in this life will matter. And this is not our permanent home. Everything we go through is temporary here. I hope for so much more for you. You will never be a disappoint to me. My love for you is never ending. To infinity and beyond.
I've talked to you before about your purpose. It takes a long time for a person to realize their purpose. I'm only guessing but I believe now that it is a feeling of love. I believe in my purpose as a mom to you and your sister. I also believe in my purpose as a wife to your dad. And I believe in my purpose as a good daughter that helps her own mom fighting cancer twice. And a sister that is there when needed. (Not like it was when we were kids. All we ever did was fight.) And last, I believe in my purpose as a best friend. Listening when I should, shopping, going to a movie or the casino, enjoying simple things in life. I have so many more purposes that I could name but these are the purposes I call blessings and I love the most.
Everyone has a story to tell. It's their testimony of God's blessings. Some tell their story through a song, some tell it through poetry, some will write a novel, and some will tell it very uniquely through art. However you choose to tell yours is up to you. There are stories of love, hope, forgiveness, and encouragement. God will always be there through your story. When the Lord speaks to you, whether in voice, vision, or through your guardian angel, you just spread the message and love that God wants relayed to others. He commands us to go in faith. Having faith means believing in things unseen. Please don't go through anything in this life alone. God will help you through whatever you need. You will see victory, joy and peace when God is in control.
1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV So now faith, hope and love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.